Photo Credit: Meredith Sanders
Yesterday’s Community Question was from a homeschooling mother wanting ideas for her daughter who prefers learning in group environments. She emailed me a few weeks ago in response to a post where I wrote about my son, Kenny, being “academically social.” I applaud this mother because the root of her question was a desire to meet her daughter’s needs within her family’s constraints. I gather that most parents or caregivers reading this homeschooling blog have that same measure of concern for their children’s education.
As I read through yesterday’s blog comments, as well as other blog comments here and elsewhere, I try to understand that each person’s response comes from their point of view. I know our belief system and life experience shape our point of view. As a blogger, I’ve learned several valuable lessons as a result of online interactions I’d like to take back; the greatest lessons came when I showed the least grace. As a result, I strive to err on the side of grace and give myself as much time as necessary to respond using thoughtful word choices. At times, this means an hour or two, but occasionally, it takes a few days to weigh my response properly. My “inner voice” sounds just like my husband Jeff saying, “Step away from the computer.”
As a homeschooling parent, I obviously have strong convictions about homeschooling, or I would not continue this path of education for my children. However, it does not compromise those convictions or make me any less supportive of homeschooling families, and certainly not anti-homeschooling, to understand that homeschooling will not work for every family and situation. I can think of few things that work 100% across the board, all the time, except ironically, extending grace.
Homeschooling comes with distinct frustrations that are personal to each family, even individuals within those families. In order for families to be whole, the “whole” must be considered, which is why I wanted to write this post today.
It is humbling to read emails and comments where people share their heart in a real way. Through the years, I have heard from families in all sorts of situations who are making homeschooling work. In addition, there are those struggling to homeschool but not able to make it work. The second group suffers from a heavy yoke of guilt on top of their already impossibly stressful situations. And then, many times there remains the added concern for what their homeschooling friends will say if they “give up” and turn their kids over to “the system.”
I write today asking homeschooling parents to be careful, mindful and respectful.
Be mindful and respectful of the single mother who by no fault of her own now must strive to support her family financially, encourage her children academically, and manage her loneliness and hurt privately.
Be mindful and respectful of parents who felt academically challenged in their formal school years but want the best possible education for their children and do not feel capable of providing it.
Be mindful and respectful of a homeschooling mother fighting against depression when she admits she can no longer provide an emotionally stable environment while simultaneously providing a home education for her children. Be respectful of her need to get help and heal.
Be mindful and respectful of a family who drops off two children at the local high school while homeschooling two elementary age kids at home. Perhaps their son wants to be in marching band or their daughter wants to play tennis competitively.
In our family, I homeschooled my cousin when my grandfather died in an auto accident. My aunt needed to share in the extended caregiving of my grandmother while she healed from a horrific wreck. If I had not been available, my cousin might have needed to go to the local junior high to finish the year, and that would have been fine.
Homeschooling is a personal choice, and there are as many reasons why people homeschool as there are why people don’t. Our convictions are just that–ours. We can strongly believe in our choice without making it a mandate for others.
The great thing about writing and commenting on homeschooling posts is sharing in our mutual excitement and love of this method of education. I believe if we aren’t careful, the joy gets easily muddied by the judgment.
Shouldn’t the celebration be about successfully navigating our kids’ education? Because no matter which way you look at it, that task in and of itself is NOT an easy one.
Heather Sanders is a homeschooling parent who desires families to live, love and learn together. Married to Jeff, Heather lives in the East Texas Piney Woods and homeschools her three children, Emelie, Meredith and Kenny.